Part 1 - my friend joel, TOO fabulous not to share with the world

This is Part one of joel getting into the world series:

I heard one of my co-workers, Nurse Jerry, was volunteering to run a concession stand for the game. Anxious to find my way in the stadium any way possible, I asked her if I could tag along. She said it was cool, but she highly doubted that I would get in. So, after work we drive downtown and she takes me to the secret side door for volunteers.
At the door there are like 5 cops and one of them asks who we're volunteering for and Jerry's like, "St. Andrew's for Habitat for Humanity". The cop asks to see our IDs so I figure I'm already out of luck. He takes our IDs and puts some dashes on his clipboard without running our names against it.
Jerry leads me downstairs to this room where all the vendors and ushers are clocking in and getting their uniforms together, and I was freaking out with anticipation and excitement of possibly getting into the World Series. So we go to this back room for volunteers and they give us shirts and pants to change. I go to the dressing room and I'm changing with all these sexy vendors who are rapping about how high they are and so we kinda hit it off. I get all sexy in my volunteer get up and go back to the volunteer room.
The head lady tells me to sign in on these two sheets, so I find the ones for Habitat and sign in. I'm feeling good, because I've got my outfit and I'm signed in, so I figure I'm gold. Then this guy takes the sheet that I signed in on and pulls out this secret sheet that I didn't see. He checks my name off the sign in sheet against his secret sheet, and he's like:
"Your name's not on here. You sure you spelled it right?"
"Yeah"
"Huh, hold on", and he grabs the boss lady.
The boss lady is like, "So when'd you train?"
"Uh… I don't know, I guess a while ago."
"Well was it this year?"
"Yeah, I'm sure it was this year"
"Alright, let me see your ID."
So I give her my ID and she takes into the back room to run it against her computer. After a few minutes she comes back, and is like, "You haven't been trained this year. You can't handle food or alcohol." So I ask if there's anything else I can help out with. She sends me to some other lady who laughs at me. "It's the World Series. We have more volunteers than we can use… You're gonna have to go change back into your clothes and leave."
I get my clothes back from the guys who checked them and go change back out in the dressing room. I'm talking to all the pothead vendor guys again. They're still cool. When I get back into my normal clothes I go out, but instead of going up the stairs to where all the cops are waiting on the first floor guarding all the entrances, I take the elevator up to the top floor – floor 4.
When I get off the elevator, I run to the balcony and watch the Cards having batting practice. I'm totally freaking out, because I'm in Busch Stadium for a World Series game. I took some pictures and stood there for a minute before I realized that I was the only on the whole floor aside from a handful of ushers. I looked outside and realized that people were still lined up and they hadn't opened the gates. It was only like 5:00, so I had like 30 minutes before gates open and I looked pretty suspicious being the only guy hanging out up there and I definitely did not have a ticket.
I ducked behind a corner and sat down Indian style and waited for like 20 minutes until people started coming upstairs. Then I just walked around all Busch Stadium. Took it in. Watched the game. Saw Carp pitch 8 shut out innings. Jimmy Baseball delivered with a big hit with the bases loaded to continue to be The Man. Hung out with drunk good old Jon Daly. I can't wait to tell my grandkids.